Parents and carers play a crucial role in helping their children develop positive friendships at school. Friends provide companionship, fun, and support when dealing with challenges. Below, we offer some tips on how you can support your child in making and keeping school friends from their first days in a new school through to their final years.
Making Friends in the Early Years
The reception and early primary years are an important time for learning how to make friends. You can assist by:
- Role-playing scenarios like introducing themselves, asking to join games, and resolving conflicts.
- Encouraging inclusive behavior like inviting lonely classmates to play.
- Organizing playdates or out-of-school activities where they can bond with peers.
- Teach them how to show interest in others by listening, smiling, and giving compliments.
- Helping them understand how their behavior affects others.
- Giving them phrases to use like “Let’s take turns” or “I don’t like it when you do that”.
Keeping Friendships Going
As children get older, friendships face new challenges. Clicking with classmates early on is no guarantee they will stay friends. You can guide your child on:
- How to balance time between friends so no one feels left out.
- Repairing arguments by apologizing and seeing the other perspective.
- Including shy or new children and making them feel welcome.
- Avoiding unkind gossip and name-calling.
- Understanding peer pressure and standing up for what they believe in.
- Identifying true friends that make them feel good about themselves.
Helping Them Settle into A New School
Starting at a new school can be daunting for any child. If you move home or welcome a foster child into your home with an agency like Fostering People, you will need to support your child through this change. While there is support available when moving schools, you can ease the transition and help them build friendships by:
- Visiting the new school together before the first day so they know what to expect.
- Introducing them to any children from the new school that live locally. Arrange get-togethers so they’ll see a familiar face.
- Encouraging them to talk about any worries and providing reassurance.
- Giving practical advice about school routines like lining up, dinner times, and playtime.
- Discussing who they could ask if they need help, like an older buddy or their teacher.
Dealing with Friendship Problems
Despite your best efforts, your child may still struggle with:
- Falling out with friends over disagreements, jealousy, or betrayal.
- Feeling excluded by cliques or bullied by peers.
- Having no one to play with at break times.
- Lacking confidence in making new friends.
Provide a listening ear and advice like:
- Speaking to a teacher if they are being bullied.
- Being the one to rekindle contact after a falling out.
- Joining lunchtime or after-school clubs to meet new people.
- Appreciating the friends they do have rather than comparing themselves.
Your child’s friendships offer a vital source of fun, learning, and support. By taking an active interest in their social experiences at school, you can guide them through challenges and help nurture the social skills needed to form positive peer relationships. This will give them a head start on one of the most important areas of their development.
